The Story of Team Rocket

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I woke up the next morning refreshed, or as refreshed as one can be when a
Raichu is jumping on your chest waiting to be fed.

As I got up she ran over to the door and started talking, "Rai Rai! Rai Chu
Chu!" meaning "I'm sure this place has a cafeteria or lounge or something!!
Lets go!" I threw on my clothes and looked around.

The room was rather spartan for my taste; there was nothing at all
remarkable about it. The walls were a metallic grey, All the fabric
decorations were a royal blue, leading me to believe that this was the Water
Trainer room. I yawned and stepped outside.

To my great surprise I wasn't the first one up. Hawk was walking down the
hall, "Hey Stryker! Its about time you got up!" I checked my watch.

"What do you mean ABOUT TIME! Do you know how EARLY it is?!? Its almost
9:30!" RaiZap saved me from a long discussion by pulling on my pants leg and
demanding we go to the lounge.

"You must be hungry." I followed RaiZap, who followed her nose to the
lounge. On the way we bumped into Jenny. "Jenny, is there a microwave in the
lounge?"
"Yes, why? Are you going to reheat some food?" She joked thinking there
wasn't anything else a microwave could be used for.
"No, I plan on doing some DNA Remodulation!" I hurried to catch up with
RaiZap.

As we turned the corner into the lounge RaiZap's eyes lit up. She was
staring at the largest type of refrigerator ever made (It carried the Silph
label of course). I waltzed over to the microwave, set down the bag I was
carrying and proceeded picked up the microwave instructions. I heard the
clomping of feet entering the room.

I looked over my shoulder to see a Bulbasaur enter the room. RaiZap was
having a time opening the fridge, she was four feet in the air, her weight
suspended by the handle. I turned back to the instructions,

Silph Microwave ver 00015368
WARNING: This microwave has been reported to cause genetic defects in all
known living creatures...

Ahhh... The 00015368, This would make my task that much easier. I slid the
bag into the microwave and poured out the contents. Rocks tumbled upon each
other but all stayed in the microwave. Once again putting aside the bag I
set the microwave to HIGH and looked once again at RaiZap. She now had a
broom in the crack of the door trying to wedge it open. The Bulbasaur had
taken an interest in her activities and had wondered over to the fridge.

I set the microwave timer for 5 hours and sat down on the nearby couch to
watch Zap's antics. She had finally pried the door open (At the expense of
the broomstick) and had crawled into the fridge. Zap now commenced looking
for what she eat. She tossed a head of lettuce to the floor which then
rolled next to the Bulbasaur. Bulba, Content to eat the lettuce, started
eating while Zap continued to search. Zap leaned out of the fridge long
enough to slap a frozen pizza on the outside of the fridge and call the
Bulbasaur a Cannibal. She threw the pizza across the room (Barely missing my
head) and continued on her search. GP walked in the room. "Ready to go?" He
asked. I did't know what he meant...

"New Recruit Familiarity Tour, we have to show you every thing you didn't
see last night. " Rather Apathetic after Jenny's extensive tour I shrugged
and called to RaiZap. By now she had "cleaned out" the entire fridge. She
sat inside the fridge eating her breakfast, A bottle of Ketchup.

"Whose Bulbasaur is that?" I asked.
"I don't know, and frankly I don't care. As long as its trainer picks it
up..."

RaiZap took along her breakfast and followed us to the briefing room where
ther rest of the group was assembled. On the other end of the room there
were three doors. One marked "Oak's Lab" Another marked, "RB's Veterinary
Office", and another marked "TRHQIQ". Which I took to mean "Team Rocket
HeadQuarter's Intelligence Office." All other seat were taken so I strolled
to the front and sat down. Giovanni walked out of the TRHQIQ door.

"Welcome everyone! You passed initiation, now you must learn what Team
Rocket does! Contrary to popular belief, theft isn't our main way of
supporting our activities. You three" He pointed at Kat, Myself, and RaiZap
"Will tour our technology wing, from our lead techno wizard, Dr. Oak! You
three!" he pointed at Skunk, Daemon, and Hawk. "Will go through the New
Pokemon wing. The department head, Rocket Breeder, will show you around.
After your respective tours, you'll meet with GP and Jay who'll give you
what you need to become equipped to be REAL TR Operatives!"

I pulled Gio aside after the meeting, "Gio, I know how much people like you
and me HATE losing." From my wallet I pulled out a ticket I had picked up
at the expo. "This is a ticket to the Safari Zone, They have some GREAT
rock/ground pokemon there. I should know, Silph owns the place..." He
thanked me as I ran off to join Kat, RaiZap, and the bulbasaur (he was still
following RaiZAP) entering the lab of Dr. Oak.

As the door swung open, there came a chorus of deafening noise, "Chansey!
Chansey! Chansey! Chansey! Chansey! Chansey! Chansey! Chansey!"

The Chansey calls silenced as Oak moved the platform he was standing on to
where we stood. He had rigged some kind of crane to the platform so it could
move anywhere in the lab.

For being an underground installation TRHQ was huge. This room ALONE was 3
stories deep. The Bulbasaur looked over the edge and became green-faced. (I
don't know how since bulbasaurs ARE green but he did) "So do you like my
Chanseys?" Dr. Oak inquired.

"A chansey here and there is okay, but all them together are giving me a
headache!" Kat truthfully replied.

Dr. Oak laughed, not an ordinary laugh, but a maniacal laugh. "There is a
total of 84 Chanseys here. All of them are my personal assistants;... except
that one... CHANSEYS! THERE IS AN IMPOSTER CHANSEY IN SECTOR 34!!! GET HIM!"
He then chuckled. All the Chanseys ran the distance to Sector 34 and
engaged the chansey located there.

"Do you mean that TR has been infiltrated?" Kat asked. The Chanseys were
making a ruckus and the chansey that was being assaulted was pleading for
mercy.

"No, I just didn't like that one very much. YOU CAN STOP NOW, HE'S LEARNED
HIS LESSON!"
I made a mental note to never get on Dr. Oak's bad side. "Now, You've seen
most of TRHQ, now you'll see my special niche, TM designing!" TMs were very
hard to manufacture, (Silph Co. makes 95% of all TMs if you didn't know),
You had to build a seperate machine for each TM and then it took a lot of
rare materials to create the microchips used in TMs.

"Right now my department produces only one TM. TM36!" I turned the number
over and over in my head but couldn't remember which one it was...
Thankfully Kat chimed in:
"You mean SelfDestruct?!?"
"Yes! My personal favorite, I've even made it better! All Pokemon can now
use it, including Chanseys!" He laughed a maniacal laugh. "See watch, See
that Rattata over there?" We nodded. "Rattata! Self-Destruct!" The Rattata
leaped onto the platform knocking over RaiZap and spilling her ketchup.

"RAAAAAIIIIIIII!!!!!" RaiZap yelled! She then Swift Kicked the Rattata off
the platform into the air, The Rattata then exploded. "Ra?" Amazed at what
she believed was her new kicking skill. She then remembered her beloved
ketchup wasn't all gone and she resumed drinking the remnants.

"MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! Now watch the Weedle! WEEDLE SELF-DESTRUCT!" The
exploding weedle took out a nearby chansey sending it over the edge nearly
making it tumble three stories. Luckily it was able to grab ahold of the
floor and pull itself back up.

I started getting nervous, I could sense Kat was too. This tour had to be
almost over but I wouldn't be surprised if Dr. Oak made us "late"; in every
sense of the word. The platform neared the exit, "Hee Hee Hee Hee! I'm not
done yet! MagiKarp! Self Destruct!" The MagiKarp took a good chunk of the
second floor's left wing with him. "Mwa-Ha Ha! Mwa-Ha Ha!"

I looked at Kat, she looked at me, I grabbed Bulba and leapt out the exit,
while Kat grabbed the much lighter RaiZap and joined me on the other side of
the door. Through the door you could still hear Oak's Maniacal laughter. As
we put the pokemon down RaiZap was rather perturbed, The jump had spilled
the rest of the ketchup all over the place, on Kat, on Zap, Bulba and
myself. We all laughed at our near death experience until we heard Dr. Oak's
voice from the lab "Hey? Where'd they go?"

As Rocket Breeder showed us through the door, the first thing we noticed
was the sound. Instead of normal pokemon sounds, All that you could hear was
loud screeching. While the rest of us covered our ears RB went on as if
nothing was wrong. As I looked around I noticed all the pokemon were in
cages, while I wondered if they were THAT vicious RB started the tour.

"This is the Pokemon Breeding Section of Team Rocket, Here genetic
displacements are made to create new pokemon! More often then not," She
sighed, "The pokemon will turn out senile or un-trainable. That's the reason
for these cages..." She walked over to rattle a cage, the creature inside,
startled at the noise crawled over to the bars. "If they got out chances are
they'd hurt themselves, And THAT would be a best case scenario." The caged
pokemon, a nidoran-pikachu hybrid, crawled back into the recesses of the
cage where it felt safe.

"Occasionally though we come up with a winner!" RB took out a pokeball from
her desk and held it in her hand. "Raifree go!" Out from the pokéball sprung
a winged Raichu.
"Rai-Freee! Rai-FREEE!" It chanted. Although Rai-Free was to heavy to use
its wings to fly any distance at all, they did come in effective for attacks
not usually associated with electric-type.

In the corner of the lab I couldn't help but see an old dusty book. It was
thread-bare, heavily bookmarked, and very large. "What's that?"
"Oh! That's the Pokemon Breeders Handbook!"
"Since the book is nearly a foot thick, I wouldn't call it a Handbook!"
Skunk chimed in from the back, " Alright! This has been a question I've
been wondering for quite a while! What happens if you use a leaf stone on an
Eevee?"

Laughing as the question was asked she left her desk, where Hawk and
RaiFree seemed to be playing with the paperweights, and quickly turned the
page to page 568, Eevee evolutions. "While most everyone knows that Eevee
can Evolve into Vaporeon, Flareon, and Jolteon. Its Less known forms will be
familiar to you also!"

She quickly turned the to page 632. "If the trainer so desires, Eevee can
be evolved by using the leaf stone." She cleared her throat and continued.
"While the results are not near as desirable as its other evolutions If the
leaf stone is used on Eevee it will evolve into..." All of us held our
breath as she turned the page.

We all laughed at the concept of evolving Eevee into such a weak pokemon,
This rose another question; Which Skunk, with no hesitation, asked. "Well
what about the moon stone?"

Turning to page 236 she deftly read, "Possibly the most painful evolution a
pokemon could endure is brought about when a moon stone is used on an Eevee.
It's genetic structure weakens and collapses leaving behind..." Once again
the suspense was killing us as she turned the page.

Dazed and confused, my jaw dropped open. I couldn't imagine someone wasting
a perfectly good Eevee for a Grimer. A giant *CRASH* turned my attention
back to the desk. Hawk and RaiFree stood there with downcast and guilty
faces.
"Uhh.. RockerBreeder... Uhhh... RaiFree and I are gonna hafta buy you a new
paperweight..." RB laughed and picked up RaiFree and lead us to the next
room.

The room was essentially empty, there were two large glass tubes that
appeared to be some sort of machine that wasn't completely put together yet.
"This is the Transmogrifier! Or for short the genetics thingy! We just got
enough funding to build it and we can't WAIT to see what it can do!"

Skunk walked over to the tube, and knocked on the plating. "Don't do
that!!!" RB ran over to where Skunk was an pushed him away from the machine.
"Do you know how much this cost? You break it you pay for it!" Skunk raised
his hands up in surrender and stepped away from the machine.

"Okay! Okay! Geesh, Don't touch the merchandise! You might damage it!"
Trying to lighten up the mood he continued, "Well, if you could have any
pokemon to breed what you choose?"

RB got kinda starry eyed as she looked upwards at her machine, "The choice
isn't easy, but I've long ago come to the conclusion that the legendary Mew
is the only pokemon that's genetic structure can be toyed with more that
Eevee's. From Mew the ultimate pokemon will arise!"

I snorted, "Oh Come on! Everyone knows that Mew is a myth. Mew doesn't
exist! Never has! Never Will!" At this she sighed and recognized my
viewpoint, Not many people believe in Mew anymore. After many Mew witness
were uncredable, (All were proven, drunk, disabled, delrious, or were
children)

"I still hold out hope for its existance. If Mew exists anything is
possible, any number of genetic evolutions of all pokemon might exist!"
Climbing down from her optimistic dream cloud she checked her watch. "GP and
Jay should be ready for you now. Let me know how it turns out!" She then
rushed us out the door and directed us down the hallway. She seemed rather
eager to get rid of us. Considering we had only broken her stuff, nearly
destroyed a multi-million dollar machine, and insulted her beliefs. I forgot
about it and continued to the meeting room...

As Kat and I entered the Meeting Room Daemon, Hawk, and Skunk were already
sitting down and enjoying themselves. I wondered if they had had a similar
terrifying experience with RocketBreeder. I dissmissed it thinking how
harmful could a 10 year old girl be. The trio however was gaping at us.

"Oh Man! Stryker! What he do to you? Do we need to run you guys to a
hospital or something?!?" Daemon exclaimed.

"No, No, No! its just Ketchup. Just ketchup! See!" I ran a finger across
the ketchup on my chest and licked it off.

Skunk realizing the non-severity of the situation stated, "Eeeeww! What are
you? A vampire?!?"

"No Really! Ketchup!" At this point everyone just continued the prank for
what it was. A prank.

"Ahem!" Unbeknownst to everyone GP had entered the room and had sat a huge
box of stuff on the table. Everyone snapped to attention and hustled into
the nearest seat. "Alright everyone, Most of you are familiar with Pokémon
catching equipment..." He paused as he held up a PokéBall, PokéDex, and
various potions. "Now some of you might NOT be familiar with some of TR's
equipment..." At this point he pointed to a whip laying on the table, which
sat next to a couple of extra-strength Blaster Balls, there were also a
couple of Demobilizing Goo Balls (As seen in Fuschia GYM episode)

Most people don't know that the PokéLand equivalent of a grenade is a
Blaster Ball. They are roughly the size and shape of a PokéBall but their
colored black. If you can take a quick guess at whom manufactures them, You
might understand how I was an Expert on Blaster Balls.

Continuing the speech GP directed our attention to Jay. "Now, TR operatives
always have a trick or two up our sleeves." On cue Jay snapped his wrist and
a small dagger flew out of his sleeve. Jay caught the dagger mid-flight and
stabbed it into the table.

The entire incident took about two seconds, it was meant to show the speed
which TR prefered in its members. Jay continued where GP left off, "Now No
One can be a Team Rocket operative without looking the part!" GP rolled a
costume trolley into the room. On it hung a dozen or more of the black
uniforms that resembled the ones GP and Jay wore. "Any questions?"

Since there were no questions, everyone went forward to pick up their
equipment. No one had any problems until the subject of the uniforms came
up.

Daemon: "Can I get a larger size?"
Kat: "Is there anything else besides these long pants?"
Skunk: "Do these come in Lime Green?"
Hawk: "These ARE Flame-Retardant right?"
Myself: "What's with these shoulders? No one has a shoulder width that
wide!"

"Look! Whats on the rack is what you'll have to wear! Do I make myself
clear?!?" GP yelled. Everyone paused until the silence was shattered when I
said.

Myself: "TR's Tailor department should have them ready in an hour." GP's
banged his head against the table. Just then the bulbasaur started towards
the stage, he somehow rubbed up against the table collapsing the table
making it tumble into the first row of chairs. As the first row of chairs
fell backwards; they hit the SECOND row of chairs, sending the SECOND row of
chairs backwards. This continued until everyone in the room was under some
sort of debris.

Pulling himself out from under the table GP asked, "Who's Bulbasaur is
that?" His tone of voice was not that of concern for the ownership, but more
that of (I'm gonna kill the Bulbasaur AND the owner!) No one claimed him.
"Saaauuurrr....." The Bulba Lamented.

Having pity on the poor animal I took one of my new PokéBalls and tossed it
to the Bulba. The Bulba smiled and started to sniff the ball. In one quick
instant he picked up the ball in his mouth and started chewing. The entire
gallery groaned, This was one stupid pokémon. Having less choice about I
hurled my next PokéBall and easily caught the Idiotic beast. Everyone
started breating easy again now that the Saur was safely in a PokéBall. Jay
then took the time to state: "It looks Like I'm Gonna Hafta talk to the
perimeter guards..."

An Hour later, Jay had chewed out the guards rather well. And the uniforms
fit perfectly, and the Practice Range proved us all to be rather good
Pokémon Trainers. As we marched out of the base, our pride renewed in being
Team Rocket members, It was a pity no one was around to see us leave the
base. We no doubt made quite a sight. We were optimistic and invincible! Our
first mission was to take some Pokémon from the Lab in Pallet, without being
caught by Prof. Oak.

1st Officer Jenny opened the refridgerator in the lounge. "Hmmm... I wonder
who was the pig who ate everything in here!" Closing the fridge door, She
opened the freezer's side and took out a Pizza Pocket. She walked over to
the microwave and opened the door.

"IIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" Her shriek was loud enough to bring Jacques
running down the hall and sliding into the room.

Still visibly shaken she replied, "Apparently someone was making seafood
and forgot to take it out!" She pointed into the microwave.

Inside Omanytes and Kabutos writhed about and tumbled over each other in a
vain attempt to escape the microwave.