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Even without any sort of kindness toward him, James was determined to make Jessie's existence bearable. He returned later, placing flowers on the windowsill next to her. He handed her a glass of wine and smiled down on her. "I thought you might like something pleasant to smell." She nodded and took a sip. He went to touch her cheek and caught himself in mid-stride. He pulled back and simply stared at her. She had gotten to the point where she would keep her eyes open, if nothing more than out of habit. Her eyes had lost anything that was once there. They were glazed over and could have been smoked glass if he hadn't known better. He looked down to her hands. They held the wine glass together and the diamond he had placed on her finger glinted from the light from the window. Even now, they had still not spoken any further of getting married. It seemed the furthest thing from anyone's mind. He thought better of doing anything and left her alone.
James had fallen asleep on the couch, something he was doing more frequently now. Brock had woken him once to ask if he wanted the fire stoked. He had stayed up then, watching the fire, trying not to think about anything. The others had long gone to bed and it was already near five. He was dozing off again when he heard some movement in the kitchen. He turned the light on and found Jesse, fumbling for a glass. He stood there, watching her. She was in her white satin nightgown. It had been an item he had searched for for her for four months. He had flown all over and had finally settled for having it made. It was in Renaissance style and fit her so perfectly. He had given it to her the first night she had slept in the same room with him, still afraid to sleep with him. That had charmed him. She had been tough and rigid, and yet she had a side that he had worked to bring out that he loved instantly. She was frustrated now, her hands shaking slightly, her mouth open in anger. Vaporeon had come down with her and yawned, trying to stay out of her way. She felt her way along the counter, bumping into the table twice. She cried out softly, almost dropping the glass. She found the refrigerator and started to feel around. She could obviously not figure out what some of the containers were as she had had custom decanters made to match the kitchen, so they were the same in structure, just labelled accordingly. He could see the anger build and she closed the refrigerator, not being able to retrieve anything. She placed the glass on top of the refrigerator and slid down the side to the floor, clenching her fists tightly and covering her mouth as she moaned from her throat. She had started to master the art of crying and screaming so no one would hear her. He watched her kneeling on the floor, head in hands, screaming deep in her throat. She clawed at the floor and hiccoughed softly. Vaporeon stayed back, looking from her to James. James took three steps toward her and saw her climb to her feet. She felt her way back to the sink and got a glass of water. She drank that and began to search the countertop. He knew she was looking for an apple. Jesse was always fond of the way fruit looked displayed, so always kept an abundance of fruit out. She could find none and growled to herself. James swallowed and took another three steps. She had stopped and was leaning against the counter. He stood next to her, about 5 feet away and looked down at Vaporeon, who just looked desolate. "Jess?" She jumped as if someone had burned her. She took two steps and swung her arm. Her aim was a bit off but he was still surprised, and her wrist caught James in the jaw. He staggered to the side and caught himself on the chair as he fell. Vaporeon was stunned and moved away. He stood back up and wiped the trickle of blood from his lip. He looked to her and saw her teeth clenched. This was enough. He'd had it. He covered the space between them and before she could move, he wrapped her hair around his fist and jerked hard. She gasped and he pulled down. "Ah!" She writhed, trying to break free. He had her backed against the counter so she couldn't get her arms up to hit him. He yelled into her ear. "Knock it off!" She struggled and he had to press against her to keep her from moving. "I said stop it! Vaporeon stayed where she was. "This is enough! Knock it off!" Jesse did something then that completely broke any form of control James had left. She spit at him. Before she could do anything else, she was on the ground, about 10 feet away from him. She lay there, motionless, blood dripping from her mouth. He heard her voice after a moment, small and frightened. "I'm sorry James. I'm so sorry." Reality came back and he realized he had backhanded her. She still hadn't moved. "James?" His voice cracked and he started breathing. "yeah." Only her mouth moved. "I'm sorry." He shook his head and looked at Vaporeon. She had her ears pinned back. James braced himself against the counter and closed his eyes. This had to end. He couldn't take it anymore. He'd been more than giving and more than kind, but this was ridiculous. He had all the compassion in the world for her, but this had taken too much out of him. He opened his eyes and she still hadn't moved. Blood slowly dripped from her chin and had stained the front of her gown and he knew she was afraid to move. Vaporeon hadn't moved either. "James, I'm sorry." Her voice was just a whisper. "Please say something. I don't know where you are." He didn't. He was furious and didn't want to say anything. She moved very slowly, sitting up and leaning against the wall. "James?" Her voice cracked. "James?" She moved away from the wall, searching for him. Her hand came in contact with his shoe and she touched his leg. She turned her head up toward him and stopped. "James….." He brushed past her, and she fell forward. His voice held no emotion. "I'm done." He was gone.
Vaporeon approached her slowly and touched her leg. She stood on her hind legs and pulled a towel from the counter, giving it to her. Jesse held it to her mouth, still stunned. She touched the small cut at her cheekbone where his ring had cut in and her tongue touched the inside of her cheek where there was a larger gash from her teeth cutting into it. She pulled herself slowly to her feet and leaned on the counter. "Pore?" (what will you do now?). She shook her head, not answering.
James left. He needed to be away from the house for a couple of hours, to calm down and rest. He was exhausted, mentally and physically. He did love her unconditionally, but he could only take so much.
Ash and Misty were up first. They had been up most of the night, talking, until they had fallen asleep, next to each other, on the floor of Misty's room. Ash slid to a stop as she made it into the kitchen. "What happened here?" Misty went past him and looked at the floor. There was broken glass and blood on the floor. No one else was around. Misty picked up the shards of glass and deposited them onto the table. "I have no idea, but it couldn't have been good." They cleaned up and looked at each other. "I wonder where either of them are?"
Jesse had simply gone to bed. There was nothing else for her to do. She laid there, thinking. Vaporeon had lain down next to her, resting her head on Jesse's stomach. She heard a knock and Vaporeon's head came up. "Jesse? James?" Jesse turned her head. "Yeah." It was Ash's voice. "Is everything okay?" Jesse shook her head but said yes. He continued. "We saw glass and blood on the floor in the kitchen. Did something happen?" Jesse sat up. "No, everything's fine. I'll be down in a little bit." Ash knew that was a lie and shrugged. He told Misty and she said the same thing. Brock shook his head. "I wonder where James went?" Ash looked over. "He's not here? I thought he was upstairs with Jesse." Brock shook his head. "I took Ninetails (Vulpix evolved) outside and his car was gone." They all looked at each other and were quiet.
Dusk was falling fast and the wind had picked up even harder now when James returned. He opened the door and found the hallway was dark. Daniel usually put the lights on when it began to get dark. He threw his coat over a chair and went into the kitchen. Misty, Brock, and Ash were sitting at the table, playing some sort of card game. They looked up but didn't say anything. He poured a glass of wine and looked out the window. It was eerie outside. He turned and looked at them. "Where's Daniel?" Ash shrugged. "I think he ran out to get something for Jesse. He left about an hour ago." James nodded and put the empty glass in the sink. "I'll be upstairs." He started for the door when Misty opened her mouth. "James, is everything okay?" He didn't look back, and his tone of voice was very icy. "Yeah. It's fine."
Jesse was sitting in bed, the covers wrapped around her. She couldn't set the fire, and she didn't want to go back downstairs to turn up the heat, so Flareon was in her lap. Vaporeon, Jolteon, and Eevee lay next to her. She heard the door open softly, and then heard his voice. "Girls, downstairs." They hesitated, and then she felt their weight disappear from the bed. Flareon licked her nose before she hopped down. She heard the door close. He lit the fire and drew the curtains closed. She couldn't distinguish where he was in the room. "James?" It was only a whisper. He stared at her. "Yeah." His tone was horrible to her. "James, I'm sorry." He shook his head. He didn't even know what to say to her. "Yeah." He turned and went into the bathroom, turning the shower on. She heard the water and crawled from the bed, feeling her way to the doorway. "James, please." She felt his hand on her chest, pushing her back. The door closed. Her mouth fell open and she backed away, shocked. She shouldn't have been, but she was. She was trying to comprehend the damage that had been done. She moved away, stunned.
James stood in front of the mirror, watching the steam floating behind him. He wanted to just sleep, not talk, not argue, not listen, just sleep. He shook his head and looked into his own eyes. She had only gotten worse, not better. The surgery was not for another month and he almost wanted to just disappear until it was over. Something had to give, and he kept feeling more and more that it would be him, not her. But there wasn't anything he could do but ignore her at this point, and it still hurt.
She heard the door open and turned around. She had been standing by
the window, listening to the wind. She heard him moving around. "James?"
She heard him stop. "James? Please say something to me." He heard the raw
pain in her voice. "Like what, Jess? What do you want me to say?" She bit
her lip. "Really Jess, what do you want me to say? Let me know, so I can
just say it to make you happy…..to shut you up." If he had hit her again,
it wouldn't have hurt as much. She put a hand against her throat. He felt
so drained. "Really Jess, why act surprised? You brought this on yourself.
Be happy the girls are more forgiving." She stiffened. "What?" He shook
his head, running a hand through his wet hair. "You heard me, you're not
deaf." She was dumbfounded. There was a lot of bitterness in his voice.
He approached her and hissed into her ear. "You're blind, get used to it.
It may get fixed, it may not. You don't have to make everyone else around
you miserable. I didn't do this to you, so stop treating me like we did."
He paused and watched her reaction. She didn't move, but she was breathing
heavily. "Stop acting like a child. And if you haven't stopped to realize
you are, I'm letting you know that right now. You are acting like a goddamned
spoiled bitch. I have been more than caring for you, and you have treated
me like dirt. Until you start appreciating it, you can drop dead for all
I care." She began to cry quietly. He moved past her and pulled the covers
back on the bed. He'd be damned if he was going to sleep on the couch again.
He lay down and it felt so good. He just didn't want to talk to her. Maybe
tomorrow, but just not now. He rolled on his side and closed his eyes.
He heard her voice, cracked and hoarse. "I said I was sorry." He rolled
onto his back and looked over at her. She hadn't moved. "So what?" He could
see her struggling. "What else can I do?" He sat up. "Honestly Jess, I
don't care. I'm so tired of this. I can only take so much, and you've certainly
dished it out enough. You're worse now than you used to be when we were
in Team Rocket. At least back then, you were able to take care of yourself."
He wasn't watching what he said, and he was tired of watching how he had
to phrase things. He didn't care now. She looked dumbfounded. He had never
been this cruel. She sniffled and bit at her lip. He sighed. "Stop standing
there looking pathetic and do something. Either sit down, go away, or just
do something." She sat down in the chair behind her, mostly because her
legs had gone weak. She laid her hands in her lap and shivered. He got
up and went over to her. He was furious with her. He stood over her, and
she knew he was above her. "Come on, tell me how bad it is again….how you
feel so horrible, and you don't understand how to deal with it and all.
Come on, why don't you attack me again. For god's sakes, I can't even touch
you without wondering how you're going to react. I have to stay 10 feet
away from you to say anything so I have a chance to move when you go nuts."
She didn't move. She knew it was true. He leaned over and his voice was
a horrible hiss. "I sleep on the fucking couch downstairs because there
is no point in sleeping next to you. I get more company from Meowth, who
sleeps on the rug in front of the fire." She was shaking. "I can't lay
a finger on you now without you cringing from god knows what. I am tired
of this…so tired, and I will not…" He was cut off by a knock at the door.
"What?!" He straightened and turned toward the door. "I'm sorry, Jesse
had sent me out to pick up some things and I have them for her.There is
also someone downstairs to see the both of you." James opened the door
and thanked Daniel, taking the envelope and package from him. He opened
the bag and looked. He pulled out a bottle of prescribed pain-killers and
some gauze. He stared at them and shrugged. He laid them in her lap and
watched her fumble with the box. Once she had it open, she slowly folded
a piece and placed it in her mouth, moving it to her right side and biting
down. He looked again and saw the makeup-covered cut on her cheekbone.
He hadn't bothered to notice if he had hurt her when he had hit her. Guilt
overcame him. He bit his lip as he took hold of her arm. "Come on."