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Jessie buried her head in Flareon's neck and hugged her. "What will I do? I can't live like this…..I can't live with this….I can't put James through this….I can't….I'm so sorry now….I can't live with this…" Flareon soothed her by licking her face and letting her know she was there. Flareon looked up when James arrived with Jolteon. He made no sound, simply watched Jesse. Jolteon did not make a sound. Jesse's hands clenched and unclenched in Flareon's fur. Flareon kept her warm. "Oh god….I yelled at him….I'm so sorry….I can't go on with this….I yelled at Eevee…." She paused to hiccough. "I shouldn't have yelled….it wasn't their fault…..oh god I love him….and I can't even see him…..oh god….." She trailed off into a horrible sob. She was shivering and tears filled James' eyes at this. "I can't live like this……" He heard her whisper this as he shed his coat and knelt down next to her. The snow had begun to fall now. Oversized fluffy flakes landed on the ground. She felt them and cried out. "I can't even see the snow!" Flareon flinched at her pain. James laid the coat over Jessie and she sat up, startled. "Who…?" James placed his palm on her cheek and she stopped. "Shhh." She was exhausted from fighting herself. He helped her stand and they made it back to the house. Misty had begun to cook dinner, much to the confusion of the cook, who sat at the table, talking to her. Brock joined her when they returned and James led Jessie to a chair. Eevee tentatively approached her and whimpered. "Eeui?" Jessie's head turned toward the little one. She extended a hand and Eevee took this invitation. She jumped to Jessie's lap and licked her nose. Jessie hugged her and whispered to her. "I'm so sorry….so sorry." Eevee forgave her instantly. James stood next to her, looking down. He motioned to the others that he was taking her upstairs. Misty nodded.
James closed the door quietly and turned to her. He had told Eevee to remain downstairs for the time-being. Jessie was silent as James took the coat from her shoulders. He stood before her and stared. She was visibly tired. Her clothes were disshevelled, and her hair was a mess. He smiled sadly at her. Jessie sniffled and brought her head up. She reached out slowly and found him. She laid her hand against his chest. Her face fell. "James…." He took hold of her hand and kissed the back of it. "Don't." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry….I yelled…." She felt his fingers upon her lips. She felt his breath upon her ear. "Don't. Don't apologize. I know." She dropped her hand and stood there, lost. He brought his head to rest against hers. Cheek to cheek they stood, her eyes opened but unseeing, his closed and clenched tight to fight back the tears. She brought her right hand up and touched his hair, entangling her fingers in it. He heard her whisper. "I love the feel of your hair." Somewhere in that sentence, he realized that this may be her life; never to see again. His arms went around her, holding her tight. After a moment, he pulled away and looked at her. She was still as beautiful to him. He loved her intensely. There was a knock at the door. "Yeah." They heard Misty's voice. "James? Dinner's ready when you want to eat." He answered her that they would be down in a couple of minutes. James led Jesse to the bathroom and wet a washcloth. He ran it over her face and she began to sob again. He stopped. "What's wrong?" She shook her head. "I'm so useless now." He picked up a brush and smiled softly at her. "No…..you'll be fine in time." There was silence for a moment. He drew the brush through her hair gently. "I like taking care of you." She said nothing. He finished with her hair and led her out. He sat her on the bed and went to the closet. "James?" He glanced behind as he took out a long black dress. "Yeah." He heard her voice crack. "I don't blame you." He closed the closet and went over to her, pulling her to stand. His voice was very soft. "I know." She stood and put her arms out for him to pull the disshevelled dress from her. She always stunned him with how truly beautiful she was. He glimpsed down at her perfect skin and body, with only a slight wine colored slip covering her. He traced her collar bone with a finger. "I love you, James." He looked up at her. Her eyes were closed (no need to be open anymore, he thought dimly). He leaned forward and kissed her firmly. His arms went around her and held her tight. (I will bring her through this) "I love you too Jess. Please remember that." He dressed her and led her downstairs. Jesse felt Eevee's paws upon her ankle immediately upon entering the kitchen. She reached down and felt Eevee's head. She picked her up and held her. Eevee licked her nose happily. Jesse reached out and Ash grabbed her hand, guiding her to a chair. She murmured her thanks and dinner was quiet. Jesse ate nothing, not even attempting to. A few words were spoken. Misty and Brock cleared the table, James thanked them and stood. He made a motion that he was taking Jesse outside and they nodded. Daniel fetched their coats, and James wrapped her in her coat. The girls were standing by the door, wanting to follow. James smiled at them and opened the door, as they fled to the snow. Jolteon tumbled over Flareon, causing a playful fight. Eevee jumped on Vaporeon's back as they took off. James walked slowly, his arm around Jesse's waist beneath her coat. She said nothing. They walked down to where she had broken earlier, by the swing. Brushing the gathering snow off of the swing, he sat down and pulled her so she could sit on his lap. He held her, swinging slowly. The only sound was of the snow laying softly, and an occasional yelp from one of the girls in the distance. Jesse was comfortably entwined with James, and he spoke into her ear, warming her with his breath. "Jess, I know this will probably not seem like to best time to tell you this, but I don't want it to wait any longer." She went numb and raised her head. He caressed her cheek and he knew she was worried. "I love you Jess, with everything I am." She nodded slowly. His arms held her still and he picked up her hands, pulling her gloves off. "I know we will go through this and you will be fine, whether you remain as you are or you heal, and I will still love you no matter what happens." A sob escaped her as she brought a hand to her mouth, not knowing what to make of this. She felt his fingers upon hers, slipping something onto her finger. With his other hand, he brought her head to his. "Be my wife, Jess." He paused to regain his breath (he didn't even realize he was out of breath). "Make me happy for eternity." She fingered the ring he had slipped on her finger, simply knowing it was beautiful. She nodded, crying again, but this time, from joy and not pain. He let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding and embraced her as if he had not seen her for ages. She kissed his neck and clung to him. A tear slipped from his eye and he smiled into her hair. He knew they would get through this.
The girls returned and instinctively knew (actually James had made them understand). They purred to jesse and followed them back tot he house. James told the others and they congratulated them. Meowth could only grin, happy this finally happened. Misty described the ring to Jessie and she cried softly. Misty hugged her, congratulating her.
The snow came down hard that night. Eventually they had all gone to what James had made into an entertainment room to watch some television. Jesse would not stay in the room and went upstairs to the bedroom. The sisters came with her and she sat on the floor, playing with them. They brought her great comfort, and they all fell asleep on the floor, all snuggled together in a mass of hair and fur.
They retired later. James opened the door to the bedroom and almost
laughed. It was a precious site to see his her and the four Eevee sisters
curled on the floor, fast asleep, Eevee perched on Jesse's hip. He closed
the door and knelt down by them. He touched Vaporeon's head and she immediately
sat up. Flareon sat up as well. They stretched and went over tot the window
to look out. James went over to the fireplace and lit it. He turned the
light off and let the fire light the room. He knelt by Jesse and touched
her shoulder. She rolled over and reached up to him. He took hold of her
hand and let her know he was there. Eevee fell from her hip and looked
around groggily. Jolteon simply lay there, fast asleep. Eevee joined her
sisters at the window. Jesse sat up and reached forward, waving her hand
in the air. "A fire?" James moved away. "Yeah. It's frigid outside." The
sisters had grown tired of watching the snow and Flareon woke Jolteon,
and they all found a warm spot by the fire to sleep.
James pulled the covers back on the bed and looked over to where she was still sitting on the floor. He went over and knelt next to her. She reached out and touched his arm. He kissed the top of her head. "Tired?" She nodded slightly. She turned her head toward him. "James?" He began to loosen his tie. "Mmm?" Her voice was so small. "James, I'm so scared." He stopped and moved to sit behind her, pulling her so she sat between his legs. He held her safe and rocked her back and forth. "I know, Jess…..it's not going to be easy, and you're going to be very angry. I expect that, but we'll get through this." She cried softly, visibly exhausted. He stroked her back, feeling some of the tension release. He began to unbutton the back of her dress to massage her back. She stiffened slightly. He watched her reaction as he unbuttoned it to her waist and pushed it slowly down her arms. He watched the muscles in her back flex and tighten. "Are you okay?" She didn't move. She'd been fine earlier when he'd helped her change. He moved in front of her and looked at her face. It was stone. "Jess?" She flinched. "Yeah." It was a hoarse whisper. "What's wrong?" She shook her head. "Nothing." He pushed her hair back over her bare shoulder. In her mind, she was numb. She was less than she had been to him before they had gone riding that morning, and she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted him to touch her like that. She felt tainted….and exhausted. His fingers touched her neck. "Do you want to rest?" She nodded. He pulled her to her feet and let her find her way to the bed. She dropped her dress to the floor, feeling on the bed comforter for her nightgown. He had laid it over a chair and got it for her. He wrapped her in the satin and tucked her beneath the covers. He held her that night, not sleeping. She would weep off and on, and he would hum to her throughout the night to comfort her. She slept snug against him, clutching at his arms wrapped around her.
The morning brought more snow. James heard laughter from the kitchen and saw Misty chasing Ash through the kitchen with a spatula while Ash trying snapping her with a towel while running. Brock was speaking to the young girl who was the cook, talking about Pokemon. Ash slid to a stop when James entered, causing Misty to collide with him. He was out of breath when he spoke. "How is she?" James nodded and he got a glass from one of the cupboards. "She's resting. Didn't sleep well, but when I got up, the sisters climbed up and laid with her. She's sleeping okay now." They nodded. "Brock and I are making breakfeast….should be ready in a little bit." Then they noticed Brock was gone….along with the cook. "Okay….never mind." Misty swatted him. "Hey, it's not like I can't cook….I'll help." Ash rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah." James left them to squabble and went outside. There was about 6 inches of snow on the ground and it was still falling.
Jesse opened her eyes and panicked until she remembered she couldn't see. Feeling left her and she was empty again. She reached out and touched fur. "Flare." She stroked Flareon, reaching around with the other hand and finding the other sisters. Eevee was laying on her pillow, above where her head had been. She leaned over, looking for James. "James?" She moved her legs, waking Jolteon and Vaporeon. She stood and followed Jolteon as she led her to the bathroom. After distinguishing the faucets, and where she had everything situated, she was able to shower. Jolteon fetched her a towel and led her back to the closet. An amusing site, to see Jolteon and Flareon saying yea or nay to what she pulled from the closet. She could not even remember what she owned. Her hand touched satin and she pulled it out. "Flare!" (blue satin, oriental). She hated depending on everyone, especially her pokemon. She liked it much better when she could take care of them, and now they were caring for her.
James had come back in, shuddering as he shook the cold off. Misty and Ash had set plates and food on the table, and were pouring some milk into glasses. James thanked them profusely as Brock and the cook (Anna) came though the other doors. James shot them a look as Misty snickered. Anna turned beet red and muttered an apology. He was about to say something when he caught Vaporeon out of the corner of his eye, and saw the other sisters coming in. Jesse had her fingertips resting on Flareon's head, following her into the kitchen slowly. James always had an appreciation of Jesse's taste in clothing, and this was no exception. The dress fit her beautifully and she had brushed her hair out, unable to braid it herself without seeing it. "James? Misty?" James went to her and touched her face. "I'm here." He kissed her and held her for a moment. "How did you sleep?" Her voice was hoarse. "I'll live." Misty said nothing as Ash, herself, Brock, and Anna sat down. Jesse sat down. She sat there, dumbfounded. They all shot glances to each other, questioning what to do silently. Jesse touched the plate and looked confused. Her voice was almost gone from sobbing so hard the day before. "What is it?" Misty piped in, trying to be cheerful. "It's eggs and potatoes….little bit of seasoning." Jesse nodded slightly and felt for a fork. She held it and was still. James took two bites and watched her. She obviously didn't know what to do. A shadow passed over her face and she stood, pushing the chair back. Flareon came forward and Jesse followed her out of the kitchen. James closed his eyes and swallowed. He flashed a pained smile and stood, going over to the refrigerator. "I'll be back."
Flareon led her out into what would serve as a massive living room. The fire was warm and she sat down with Flareon. Eevee wandered up and pawed her leg. "Eui?" Jesse petted her and said nothing. She heard James behind her. "Jess?" She didn't move. She felt his arm over her shoulder. He held an apple beneath her nose and she realized how hungry she was. She took it meekly and bit. He crouched next to her and stroked her hair. She took three bites and sniffled. "James?" He nodded. "Yeah." She turned her head toward him. "Why can't I do anything?" Such an odd question, as the answer was obvious, but he knew she wanted to hear something else. She was losing a grip of herself. He stroked her cheek. "Because it will take time. In a month and a half, we're going to get you surgery, and you'll be my Jesse again." He knew as he said that that he should have reworded it. She bowed her head and choked. "And what happens if I can't? Or if it doesn't work? I'll never be your Jesse again…." Flareon was bold and shot a glare to James. He nodded at her and sat down next to Jesse. He didn't touch her, but his voice was very soft. "Jess, please don't think I will stop loving you or that I will love you less. I love you more each day, regardless of your sight or what I have to do to help you. If I have to feed you for the rest of our lives, then I will do that. Nothing that I do for you is out of pity or sorrow, it is because you are mine, and I want the best for you. It is out of compassion, and my sincerity for you." She stopped and sniffled softly. "Thank you." He smiled and touched her eyes, causing her to flinch. He did not pull back, he placed two fingers over her eyes and kissed her. "This does not matter to us." Somewhere inside, she believed him, but it did not make it any easier.
Ash looked over at Brock. "Where the hell were you?" Misty swatted him soundly on the back of the head. "Couth, Ash, couth." He stuck his tongue out at her and in a flash she leaned forward and bit his tongue. He pulled back, stunned, and she went back to eating. Brock 's eyes widened (yes, Brock's eyes) and he made a clucking sound. Ash shot her a sly smile and finished eating.
The kids ended up staying longer than they or James had intended. It turns out that they enjoyed being there, and were a great help to James since he had to devote almost all of his day to taking care of Jesse. The girls watched over her diligently, making sure she would not fall of bang into anything when James was not present. Two weeks had passed and Jesse would still not fully accept any of this. She had withdrawn and become very quiet to the point where it was hard for James to simply even touch her without her flinching and drawing back. She would sleep stiffly on her side, saying nothing. He was patient, still holding her and kissing her good night. She would not walk with him outside and she had stopped being even remotely playful with the girls. They had become depressed as a result. Even playing with Ash and Pikachu did not help them.
After the third week, Jesse had taken to sitting alone in the bedroom next to the window for hours without even moving. She would not even allow Eevee to sit with her, which caused Eevee to take to sitting outside the door, crying softly. Neither Brock, Misty, or Ash would say anything on this; it was none of their business.
James had made the appointment to take Jesse for an examination to evaluate
her surgery. The exam went quickly. She had healed well, with no improvement
on her sight. The prognosis was that the surgery had a 45% chance of success,
with an 80% chance of at least some of her sight returning. There was a
drawback, though. She needed at least another month and a half before
it could be done. The tissue behind the eye where she had been shot was
still regenerating itself and the surgery could not be done until it was
healed. She would also have to be careful that she did not get hit in the
face or have anything cause any undue pressure to the area. And if the
surgery did fail, she could not have it redone. She would be without sight
permanently. The doctor prescribed a mild sedative for her when James described
her attitude. James thanked the doctor and took Jesse home again. She took
her seat by the bedroom window quickly and turned away from him. He laid
their coats over the other chair and sat down. He watched her. The muscles
in her neck would flex, as she was gnawing on her lip. "Jess, I miss you."
His voice held so much. He only wanted her to hold a hand to him. She would
not turn. "I'm sorry." She knew he would never stop taking care of her,
but she had lost herself. She did not know who she was and she didn't know
how to function. She had never had a handicap to overcome and this was
too much for her. She heard him moving behind her. His hand lightly touched
her head. His voice held no cruelty, only sorrow. "I thought I had gotten
you back, but I really did lose you." A knife through her heart could not
have come close to hurting as much. She bowed her head and opened her mouth
to say something but heard him close the door softly before she could.