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platypus3333

platypus3333@yahoo.com

http://members.tripod.com/Platypus3333

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Pokemon: Trainers

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Part 7: Jim Beats the Crap Out of a Bunch of Gyms

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Ash knocked on the door. Next to him, Misty was hiding in the bushes. "Misty, come on! They're your sisters!"

"B…but…"

"Jeez! Oh, hi!"

"Oh, like, you're Ash, right? Like, how's my sister?"

Ash sweat-dropped. "Um…this is very confusing…but she mistook some of my Mom's medicine for apple juice and--"

"Oh, like she got totally smashed?"

"Um, yeah, and then she spiked my juice…"

"Like, is this story gonna be rated PG?"

"No…"

"Oh, GOOD! Come on in!" She backed off and waved for him to come in. Ash motioned for Misty to follow.

"Come on!"

"I'll take my time…"

"Okay." Ash went in.

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Jim frowned. "This looks like the place."

Bob was eating some grass. Apparently Teletubbies HAD affected him.

'This is the place. Inside is Sabrina.'

"Oh. Ok." Jim opened the door. "Hello?"

‘Come in,’ a feminine voice said in his mind.

"Um…Ok." He walked along the path and stopped at the end. "Hi."

A light flashed on, revealing Sabrina in a meditative pose. ‘Yes?’

"Well, I’m here to get a badge…" ‘Mmmm…some whipped cream…some cherries…fudge sauce…’

‘STOP THINKING LIKE THAT!!’ Jim clutched his head in pain.

"Ow…"

‘Sick, perverted kid! You’re way too young for me!’

"Ok, Ok…just don’t read my mind, then!"

‘I cannot help it! I am too powerful!’

"Mew, scramble my mind."

‘Yeah, okay.’

Sabrina blinked. ‘……………………………………’ "Damn, it’s not working. Ok, then. You’ve got a Mew?"

"Yeah, I found him outside of some town."

"…Ok. And you’re using him?"

"Yeah, my other Pokemon hates me."

"Oh, lots of Pokemon hate their owners at first. What is it?"

"Um…Mewtwo."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!! HOW IN HELL DID YOU CATCH HIM??!"

"Um…I exposed him to 6 hours of a Teletubby marathon…"

"Dear God…you are a cruel and heartless bastard…" Sabrina took a deep breath. "Very well. I will fight you."

"Oh, hey, that’s good!" Sabrina led Jim to the fighting circle. "Say when."

"Now!" Sabrina whipped out a ball.

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"—So we left my Mom on the floor and flew here." Ash twitched as everybody else in the room stared at him. He coughed. "Um."

"Like, wow. You guys are messed up…" One of Misty’s sisters (I dunno which and I don’t give a damn) said.

"Um…"

"Misty! I always knew you would follow in our footsteps!"

She stared. "Footsteps?"

"Oh, I guess we never told you about…"

The sisters began babbling endlessly about their many high school "adventures."

Ash and Misty reddened and bolted out of the house.

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"That was a good battle." They were all sitting on a bench. Jim had let Mewtwo out after getting a solemn oath to behave.

"Yes." Jim edged away from a comatose Bob."

"But I still feel cheated somehow."

"How?"

"You didn’t use any moves…"

"So?"

"SO getting Mew to dropkick my Abra wasn’t very nice."

"Sorry."

"Okay."

"…Okay, gotta go."

"Fine."

"Thanks for the tea!"

"No problem." She watched as Jim walked off, followed by a long trail of Pokemon.

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"No, no, when Darwin said ‘survival of the fittest,’ he did NOT mean that everything would die except clones!" Jim was arguing with Mewtwo, which really isn’t a good idea when you think about it.

"Clones ARE the fittest."

"Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean that everything else dies…it just means that they have a better CHANCE of survival!"

"Same thing." They both grew silent.

"Idiot cat."

"Crap-ass trainer."

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Misty and Ash sat in a hotel lobby. She turned to him. "So what do you wanna do now?"

"I don’t know. Find another hotel?" Ash was still twitching.

"What’s wrong with this one?"

"It’s got one room…"

"So?"

"Whaddya mean, ‘So?’??! Haven’t you learned your lesson?"

"No, I mean we always slept close when camping…"

"…But that’s DIFFERENT!"

"How?"

"Um…it’s outdoors!"

"So you’re willing to sleep close to me outdoors?"

"Um…no!"

"Then what?"

"Why are you being so forward all of a sudden??!"

"Pervert!" She smacked him upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"I would NEVER sleep with you!"

"You already did!"

"That’s unproven."

"Ah. But in the literal sense you did."

"Yes…but we’re not talking about the literal sense."

"We’re not?"

"No."

"Ah."

Misty got up. "Come on."

"…Fine. Be that way."

"I will." She dragged him up to the counter. "We’d like a room, please."

The amazingly fat lady glared at them. "Aren’t you a little YOUNG?"

She blinked. "No."

"I’m sorry, I have to call your mothers." The lady picked up the phone.

"You don’t know who our mothers are!"

"Gimme a break, you’re those Pokemon champions. Everybody knows who you are!"

"Oh. Ash, help me out!"

"Um. We’re not going to do anything illegal…"

"The hell you ain’t!"

"Um. Honest. Look at her!" Ash gestured wildly toward Misty. "She’s ugly! She’s evil! I would NEVER do anything with her!"

"Hm…how about me, then?" She grinned as Ash paled. "I’m kidding, you little meathead. Room 234." She gave them a key.

They looked at each other. "Am I really ugly and evil?"

"Of course not. Come on."

They walked up.

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AW! THAT WAS SO WARM AND FUZZY! Now I have to do something really bad.

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A huge nuke came from Sega and Sony, Nintendo's main competitors, and destroyed all the unshipped cartridges of Pokemon Stadium, Yellow, Gold, Silver, and Snap. The CEO's cheered when they heard the news.

I'm kidding, you meatheads. This story ends here temporarily because I don't feel like writing it right now.