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platypus3333

platypus3333@yahoo.com

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Pokemon: Trainers

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Part 6: Mew

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Jim stared. "Whoa."

Bob was twitching. "Whoa."

Before them was a REALLY rare Pokemon. Jim kept staring. "Whoa."

"You said that already." The spell was broken.

"So? I call it."

"Hey!"

"I saw it first!"

"Well, yeah, but I have like no other Pokemon!"

"Yeah, but I SAW IT FIRST!"

Mew watched them argue, fascinated. "Mew." {What the hell are they doing?}

"Man…I guess you're right."

"Assuming, of course, that we can catch it."

"Mew?" {WHOA! Did they just say "catch"? No way am I going for this. I'm out of here.} Mew turned.

"Hey, it's turning!"

"I have no Pokemon that can take it on…" Jim had a bright idea. "Hey, Mew!"

"Mew?" {Hey, he's talking to me…}

"Listen, If you become my Pokemon, I'll offer you some really great benefits!"

"Mew ew!" {Benefits…hm!} "Mew?" {What are they?}

"…Like health care, insurance that you don't have to get in a ball, good food…"

"Mew…" {Ya know, you're the only trainer to try to deal with me…}

"…And all you have to do is beat the crap out of some other Pokemon once in a while!"

"Mew…" {I knew there would be a catch…lemme think about this.}

"…Um…At least you're not running away…"

"Mew!" {No kidding, idiot boy! Jeez…This doesn't sound that bad…}

"…" 'Come on, man!'

"Mew ew mew ewmew!" {Idiot, I'm psychic, I can read your mind…}

"Arg…I heard that!"

"Mew." {Fine. This is a good deal. We split the profits 50/50, got it?}

"What profits?"

"Mew mew." {You'll be the only one to get a Me--Hey, it's those idiots again!} Jim turned around as another bunch of loser Team Rocket people appeared.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it…er…Triple!"

"Right. And…um…to unite all pipples!"

"Mew." {Losers.} Mew nodded his head and blew them away with a psychic blast. "Mew!" {Jeez, someday I'm gonna lose my temper…} He turned back, nodded at Jim, then began licking himself clean.

"Er…All right, then. Shake?" Jim held out a hand.

"Mew." {Fine. Shake on it.} Mew slapped the hand with his palm.

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"Misty, how many times have I told you, that is NOT apple juice." Ash was backing off from an eerily drunken Misty. "Um…you're only 15…"

"15 ith enuff. Don't you think?" She leered at him. "MORE than enuff."

"Aw, man…Misty…"

"Hehehe…wath that you got in yer pocket there?"

"Um…nothing…" Ash shifted uncomfortably.

"Hehehehe…" Misty slumped to the ground and began giggling nervously. "Hehehehe…funny…"

Ash sighed. "Misty…don't drink that stuff again…I swear…"

"Look at that!" Ash spun. Misty giggled and poured the contents of her bottle into his mug.

"What? Where?" Ash turned back, annoyed. "What the hell, Misty? Jeez, we need to get you some coffee…" He picked up his mug and took a long sip. "Hmm…has this gone bad?" He put it down and blinked, then started giggling. "Squeak."

"Hehehehe…"

"Hahaha…squeak…squeak…I fell weird."

"Hahaha…me too. I think the fooms are too strong." She kept laughing and got up. She stumbled over to him and collapsed into his arms. "Hahaha…"

"HeheheheHahahaha…"

"HAHAHA!"

"Hehehehehe…I fell ver funee." He wasn't blinking. Blinking is important.

"Squeak."

"Hehehe…Pika!"

"Hehehehehehe…"

"Heh."

"Hah."

"Whee!" She grabbed his head and thrust her lips to his.

"Hehe…mmph!"

"Mmm…"

"…" Ash held her firmly on the shoulders. "…"

She helped him take off his jacket.

…Well, enough of that. I'm sure you're not very interested at all…

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Jim walked carefully next to his new "friend," Mew. "Um…"

'I can read your mind.'

"Oh…"

'It's very dark in there.'

"Ah."

'Stop saying that.'

"Um, what do you see in Bob's head?"

'…'

"What do you see?"

'…Fascinating. There's almost nothing there!'

"Um…"

'I have never seen anything like this.'

"Oh, well, I always knew--"

'How does he survive without a mind?'

"Well, Bob is…special. Our mother sent him with me."

'Ah.'

"Yeah."

Bob skipped up. "So where do you wanna sleep today?"

"I dunno."

'I say we sleep over--AH!' Mew stumbled.

"What! What!" Jim turned.

'…No…'

"What? What's wrong?"

Mew looked up. 'Mewtwo is here!'

"…That's bad, isn’t it?"

'HIS PSYCHIC POWERS DWARF MY OWN! WE MUST RUN!'

Bob was about to comment when there was a very loud explosion.

'No! NO!'

Jim clutched his head in pain. "What the…?" He collapsed as the psychic attack engulfed his frail mind.

Bob just stared. "What's wrong?"

'Mind…attack! Defenses…growing weak!'

"Mind?" Bob looked around. "I don't get it…" Then a huge furred paw smacked him into unconsciousness.

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"Ash?" Mrs. Ketchum flicked on the light. "Are you home, dear? Where are you?" She put down the groceries and walked to the closed door. "Ash?" She rapped it lightly, then shrugged and opened it up. Her eyes widened. "…" She then collapsed to the ground, twitching. "…"

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Jim woke up. "What the?"

"Silence!" A booming voice said. Jim shut up. He watched as Mewtwo walked out of the shadows.

'Damn, that's one big cat…'

"I SAID SILENCE!"

'Screw you, ya fat--' Jim gritted his teeth as Mewtwo sent him a psychic shock.

"…That is better." Mewtwo started pacing around. "Much better." He turned. "What are you doing here?"

"…"

"Never mind, I can see right through your thoughts. Hmm…" Mewtwo stroked his chin. "Interesting…my 'father' has a high resistance to my ability to read minds…" He stalked up to Mew. "When did you develop this ability?"

"…"

"Speak!"

"I didn't…the one you fought is my cousin."

"…I KNEW that!!!" Mewtwo started cackling madly and disappeared into the shadows again.

Jim looked over at Mew. "He's a nut."

'Yes.'

"How long have we been here?"

'Mewtwo distorts the perception of time. We have been here 7 hours.'

"Whoa."

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Ash slowly opened his eyes. "Whoa…who spiked my juice…" He slowly propped himself up on his elbows. "And how did I get--" 'Who the hell is breathing?' He slowly looked to his left, then gasped. "ACK!"

Misty jumped up. "What? What?" They stared at each other. "…"

"…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" They screamed.

Ash panted. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?! And…and where the hell are your clothes?"

"I dunno! I dunno where they are! I dunno why I'm here!"

"…"

"Agh! What did we DO?!"

"I can take a couple guesses…" Ash looked around frantically. "We gotta get out of here before Mom gets back!"

Misty had covered herself with a sheet. She nudged something with her toe. "Too late…"

Ash walked over slowly with another sheet. "…"

"…What do we do now?"

"…I say we camp out at Cerulean…"

"Good idea!" Misty started digging through his drawers."

"What are you doing?!"

"I need some clothes, idiot boy! Mine are unavailable right now…"

"You're not gonna wear underwear?"

"Do you see mine?" She glared at him. He sweat-dropped.

"Um, they're hanging on that trophy…" She reached up and snatched them.

"Jeez! I REALLY hope I didn't do something stupid…"

"I wish I remembered what I did…" He ducked under a thrown cap. "Hey!"

"Have some decency, Ash!"

"Ok, Ok…"

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Jim stared at Mewtwo. Mewtwo was cackling again. "Bwa hahaha! I will crush the Pokemon of the world with my POKECLONES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"…"

"BWAHAHAHAHA! GIGGLES! HAHAHAHAHA! CLONES! CLONES!"

"…" Bob was asleep again. Mew was meditating.

"DAMMIT LISTEN TO ME!!!!"

Jim decided to do something very stupid. "Mewtwo, I challenge you!"

Mewtwo paused. "YOU'RE KIDDING! I'LL FLATTEN YOUR PUNY HUMAN ASS!"

"The hell you will!"

"WHY WOULD I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE WHEN YOU'RE ALL MY PRISONERS ANYWAY??"

"Because all villains do!"

"FINE. CHOOSE YOUR POKEMON!"

"Hell, no! You'd just step on them! I'm talking about a contest…more suited to my…our…level…"

"…WHAT IS IT?"

"It involves Bob…and a television…"

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Mewtwo's head was slumped over. And he was drooling. Next to him was the fascinated figure of Bob. Jim and Mew were hiding in the adjoining room. "Ungh…too…much…"

Bob was watching, fascinated. "Laa-laa! Po!"

"My…senses…assaulted…can't…take…much more…" Mewtwo was twitching nervously.

"Wow! Tinky Winky!"

"Dear…god…my mind…it's disappearing…"

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It has been noted that, the more intelligent a person is to begin with, the less intelligent they are after being exposed to "educational" children's television.

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"Dipsie!" Bob's eyes were glued to the screen.

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<Don't ask how I know their names.>

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"Agh…the purple one…homosexual…I KNOW it…definitely…gay…ungh…" Mewtwo collapsed into a twitching mass of fur and brain. "Can't…think…glck…" He lapsed into thankful unconsciousness. Jim and Mew walked out of the room.

"Hey, now that he's unconscious, should I catch him? It's probably be damned easy like this…"

'Yeah, that might save us some trouble…'

Jim took out a ball and stuffed Mewtwo in. "There. That works damned fine." He looked around. Where's the exit?"

'There. And bring Bob.' Jim walked over.

"Bob. Time to go. Bob?"

"Laa-laa!"

"Oh, damn." Jim pulled out the plug on the television. "Bob?"

Bob blinked. "Oh, hi, Jim. Time to go?"

"Um…yeah. Definitely."

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Mewtwo blinked. 'Where the hell am I? Really dark in here…' He looked around. '…Oh, NO! That dumb kid caught me! DAMMIT!' Then he calmed down. 'Nah. He doesn't have the badges to control me right now, so I can make his life a living hell…' The cat smiled evilly.

Jim noticed the ball rattling. "What the? Aw, no, he's awake already!" He threw the ball onto the ground and watched as Mewtwo popped out.

"What the hell did you do that for, human?"

"Well, you were just sitting there…"

"I'm gone…" Mewtwo started to leave.

"Hey, you've gotta obey me!"

Mewtwo smirked. "What, with your 3 badges? Dream on, kid."

"…Get back in the ball, then."

"Yeah, right. You can't make me."

"Yeah, I can!"

"How?"

"With THIS!" He whipped out a Teletubby poster, causing Mewtwo's eyes to roll into his head as he passed out. Jim carefully put away the poster. "Heh. Idiot." He put Mewtwo back into the ball and secured it shut with some duct tape. "There. Mew, where do you wanna go now?"

'I do not know.'

"Oh. Let's head toward Cerulean, then."

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2 teenagers were flying on a Pidgeot. The red-headed one was hitting the other. "We don't have time to pick up Pikachu!"

"Yeah, we do! He's my best friend!"

"He's your friggin best friend?!"

"Yeah! And he doesn't abuse me all the time like SOME people!"

She smacked him. "What does THAT mean?! At least you managed to get ME drunk and in bed!"

"There is that…"

"Yeah!"

"…"

They neared their destination.

END PART 6