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platypus3333

platypus3333@yahoo.com

http://members.tripod.com/Platypus3333

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Pokemon: Trainers

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Part 4: Team Rocket

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Two trainers walked peacefully along a path. Rather, one was walking peacefully and the other was playing "Cowboys" with a stick.

"Giddy-up! Ho ho ho!" Bob pranced around a silent Jim. "GO, big doggie! GO! Weee!"

Jim stared straight ahead. 'I knew I shouldn't have let him drink that expresso…' "Bob, stop."

"What? What? The bank's in trouble? Go, big doggie!" Bob started going in his wide circle again. "Chuu Chuu!"

"Bob, stop now."

"Weee!"

"Bob, I'm going to hit you…" Jim picked up a rather large stick. "…With this rather large stick if you don't stop."

"Whoa, pardner! Watch out--"

* Whap *

"There we go!" Jim started smiling, threw the broken stick into the bushes, and started dragging Bob along.

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Two people and a talking cat hid in the bushes. "James! Did you see that?"

"Definitely. Definitely."

"This is our chance to please the boss!"

The cat spoke up. "He fired us 5 years ago.

"Shut up, Meowth! This will get us back into his good graces!"

"Besides, there wasn't anything interesting there. It was an idiot pretending his stick was a horse."

"No, but don't you SEE? It's obvious that they know Misty and Ash!"

Jesse spoke up. "Remember, we saw them dragging the tall one at the stadium!"

"Yeah! That means they're friends! We can use them as hostages to get more Pokemon!" The two started giggling madly. Meowth watched them and sighed.

'Stupid humans…'

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Bob was standing patiently next to a vending machine. Jim had gone into a store to purchase more potions. He sighed. "Man, this is boring."

"Psst! Kid!" He spun. He was being addressed by a woman in a cheesy-looking spy disguise.

"What?"

"Yeah, you!"

"What…"

"You want some candy?"

"No."

"…Come on, come over here and take the candy!"

"Nah."

"Why the heck not?"

"Not that hungry. I just got something from the vending machine." Bob indicated the machine next to him.

"Come on. Take it for later." She waggled the candy in front of his face.

"Uh…no…"

Then Jim came out. "Hey, what's going on?"

Bob pointed. "This woman wants us to take some candy."

'Yes…finally! Victory will FINALLY be ours!' Jesse turned and started waving the candy in front of Jim's face. "Here…nice and chewy…"

"Ok, fine." Jim snatched it out of her hand. "Here's a buck." He placed the folded bill in her hand. "Come on, Bob. We gotta hurry."

"Ok. Thanks for the candy, lady!" Bob started walking after Jim. Jesse stared at her hand.

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James looked up. "So was it successful?"

Jesse frowned. "No. They took it and gave me a dollar."

"A dollar?"

"Yeah." She sat down and took off her hat. "They're in a hurry, though, so we better move."

Meowth stood up. "This is pathetic. Come on, let's go find something else to do."

"No! We must finish our job!"

"Argh…Fine. Stinking over-evolved monkeys…"

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

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"Hey, it just occurred to me." Bob kicked a rock.

"What?"

"That girl looked pretty familiar…"

Jim stopped. "Yeah, to me too…weird."

They started walking again. "VERY weird."

"Uh huh."

"I wonder how Ash and Misty are doing."

"Probably making out or something."

"What? I thought they were just friends…"

"Nah. It's obvious. They've hung out together for over 5 years. And Ash bought a cool bike for her."

"He owed her a bike."

"But still…they're still pals, right?"

"I guess."

"I really do wonder…"

"Yeah."

"What ARE they doing now?"

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Ash and Misty were stranded along Interstate 57. "I CAN'T believe you trathed my bike again!" Misty was pretty mad. Or wasted. Same thing for her.

"Hey, I made good on the last one, right?"

"Yeah, aftuh 5 FRIGGIN YEARTH!"

"Ok, Ok, fine. 5 years. But I actually have money now!"

"Argh."

"And besides, I trashed this bike because you were about to get hit by a Mack Truck! My bike is screwed up too!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Misty sat down on the road, grumbling.

"At least yours is still identifiable…Misty, never drink that stuff in my Mom's cabinet again."

"Wha?" Misty started staring at him.

"Um…"

She giggled drunkenly. "Hur hur hur."

Ash started sweat-dropping. "Um…Misty? Are you ok?"

"Why, off courth…why do you athk?" She giggled again.

"No reason."

"Thay, you're pretty cute in thith light…" She started edging closer. Ash started edging away at a faster rate.

"Um…"

"What thay we--"

"AHHHH!" Ash scrambled up and bolted for the horizon. The two halves of his mind were arguing with each other.

'Ketchum, you're a total wuss. You should go for it.' Stud Ash was yelling.

He shook his head to himself. 'No, I consider myself to be rather responsible…yeah, responsible!' Wuss Ash was defending himself.

'Wuss!'

'I'm actually quite proud to have such control over my hormones.'

'No, you’re a wuss.'

Ash looked back. Misty was chasing him down.

"Wait! Wait! Come back! Pleath! Athy-Poo!"

Stud Ash thought for a moment. 'Okay…so she IS pretty wasted…This just means that now is the time!'

'The heck it is! She's wasted off Mom's cabinet supply!'

'I wonder what that stuff is for…'

'Hey! It's none of our business!'

'Sure it is! It's probably Dad's!'

'What are you implying?!'

Ash looked back again. Misty was gaining.

"Aw, Ath, yer no fun! Thlow down!"

"I don't believe in fraternizing with drunk red-heads!"

Stud Ash grimaced. He was losing. 'Oh, that's a really great comeback. A DRUNK RED-HEAD IS WHAT 99% OF THE MALE POPULATION WANTS! AND MAYBE 3% OF THE FEMALE!'

'No it isn't!'

'Yes it is! What kind of twisted deviancy are you suffering from?!'

'I…'

'Yeah, exactly! You're the messed up one, not me!'

'…'

'Hahaha! Now who's winning, punk?'

Ash looked back and his eyes widened. He was tackled from behind.

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Jim looked over at Bob. "I have no idea."

"None?"

"They're pretty responsible…"

"Yeah."

"Ah well."

END PART 4

Next: Weird stuff! Will this be turned to lime? Or even (gasp) LEMON? Tune in next time for MORE twisted Pokemon excitement and adventure! And visit my web site.