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platypus3333

platypus3333@yahoo.com

I take no responsibility for any damage reading this might cause you. It might help if you’re already insane. But I doubt it.

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Jim sat with his binoculars. "Hey, Bob, they’re starting!" He nudged the still figure next to him.

"What?"

"I said, Ash is about to fight Gary…"

Bob sat up and pulled out his binoculars. "Hey, are you serious?"

"Of course I am."

"Cool." They watched as the doors on the sides of the field opened, and the competitors walked out.

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"Hey, Ash."

"Hey, Gary." They stood facing each other. Both were about the same height now, and also around the same age.

"I’m surprised you made it this far…"

"I told you I would!"

"Yep. Ready?"

"Of course." They shook hands to the roar of the crowd and went to their starting boxes. They reached to their belts and each pulled out a ball. They stood still, waiting for the announcement to begin.

"READY…BEGIN!"

Ash threw his ball to the center and Pikachu popped out. Gary did the same and the ball produced an Eevee, unevolved.

"Pikachu, quick attack!" Pikachu became a blur as it leapt at the relatively still Eevee…

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Insert action packed fight scene here, Ash wins, yadda, yadda, yadda, Gary becomes his friend again, blah, blah, blah, Ash becomes champion, yack, yack, yack…

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Jim put his binoculars down. "That was a nice fight."

"Yup."

"What do you wanna do now?"

"I dunno. Lets get back down first."

"Ok."

"Hey, Ditto, climb down there and imitate and airbag, will you?"

"DITTO!" Ditto went to the edge and jumped. Jim looked down. There was now a huge airbag. He jumped.

"Thanks, ditto. What the—NO, BOB, NO!"

* Crunch *

"Jim? Is that you?"

"…"

"Jim? JIM! Sorry, Jim!"

"…urg…"

"Can you feel all the parts of your body, Jim?"

"………"

"…Well, sorry. Here, I’ll get off." Bob got off in time to see Misty walking out. "Hey, Misty, help us out!"

"Hi—hey, you’re those perverts!"

"Erg—sorry…"

"You have a lot of nerve, calling me over here—"

"…sorry…"

"K. What’s your name?"

"I’m Bob, and he’s Jim."

"Dang… your pretty mutilated…"

"Some IDIOT named BOB decided to JUMP ON ME from 250 feet…"

"…Well, why were you up there in the first place?!"

"Poke…pokemon match…"

"Oh."

"K…kill Bob. Do it for me, please…"

"Everyday, I get bombarded with weird crap…" Misty sighed. ‘Wonder how Ash is doing…"

"Can…can you do that?"

"Eh?"

"Ne…never mind."

"Two idiot trainers… Why is it always you?!" Misty mused.

"Everyone…wants to be a trainer…"

"Right. Well, we better do something about your wounds…"

"…" Jim blacked out.

"So, how long have you been trainers?" Misty asked Bob as they struggled to pick him up.

"Um…I dunno…about 3 years?"

"Come on, you two can’t become trainers in 3 YEARS? That’s pathetic!"

"K, I know that, I read it in a magazine…"

"SuperPOKE Monthly?" Bob nodded. "I think I wrote that article. Oh well. Jim, how are you?"

"…"

"Brain dead…Bob, how much do you weigh?" They hefted Jim and headed toward the pokecenter.

"About 145…"

"No, you look like you weigh less. Are you sure?" Misty kicked open the door.

"…Yes, of course I’m sure."

"Including how many bags?" Misty grunted as she stuffed Jim onto a hand truck and duct-taped him into position.

"Ten." Misty sighed.

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Jim woke up to find himself in a hospital bed. Bob was sitting to his right. "Bob…" he called weakly. Bob woke up.

"Jim? You’re all right?"

"Bob… come closer…" Bob did so, and gagged as Jim grabbed his throat.

"Never," he growled, "DO THAT AGAIN. UNDERSTAND?"

"…" Bob was trying to breath. That’s important. "…" Jim let go.

"Ok. Where’s my Ditto?"

"Um…in that ball to yer left." Jim grasped it. "Ditto, you saved my life. How can I ever repay you?"

"Hey, he saved mine too!" Jim glared.

"No, doofus, you fell on ME. I technically saved your sorry butt."

"Oh, thanks!"

"Idiot." Jim drifted off to sleep again.

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