Emotions Lost

-Created by Clyde McBob (not my real name)

-created from 7/16/99 to 7/17/99

Disclaimer Stuff: Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu, Gary, Prof. Oak, Team Rocket, and everybody else found in the Pokemon episodes belong to Game Freak, 4 Kids, Nintendo. I don't own them. Instead, I own the other characters whom I've made. You get the point.

Note: This story is take from Ash's point of view. This is just to let you know in case you are confused.

~~~

"Kid, are you okay?" a voice said to me. I opened my eyes to let away the darkness. I saw a man around the age of thirty. "Kid, are you okay?" he asked again.

"I'm fine," I replied in a deep-toned voice.

"Do you feel any pain or anything?"

"No."

"Ash!" It was Brock's voice. "Ash! Are you okay?" This time, it was Misty's voice. I sat up from the bed I was sleeping in. I saw my two friends run over to where I am. Misty was in tears meanwhile Brock was panting. "Ash, I thought we lost you," Misty said.

I was silently waiting for her to continue. However, it seemed she was the one who wanted me to say something. "I'm fine," I said in the same deep-toned voice to the man who I saw when I woke up.

"Man, that fall sent you to the hospital," Brock added. The "fall" suddenly came into my head. Then, I remembered I was leading the group in an unusual feeling. I then remember we came to a bridge and Team Rocket appeared in their big giant Meowth balloon. After I summoned Pigeotto to blow them away with a Whirlwind, that knocked the bridge down which we were on. I blacked out and appeared here.

"Ash? You're kinda different... Is everything all right?" Misty asked while holding her Togepi in her arms.

"Yes." I replied in the same deep tone. Something was wrong. I just can't explain it. I feel like I've lost something. Yet, I'm not nervous about it. Nervous? That word just popped into my head. What's nervous? I don't remember this feeling. In fact, I don't remember any of my feelings. Yet, I stayed calm without fear. Fear? What is fear? I've lost my feelings.

"Ash?" Brock started. I stared up at him. He looked confused. "Something's wrong. Ash, did you get amnesia?"

"No." My voice appeared in a deep tone again. Why can't I change it? I don't know. Nor do I think it matters.

"Something's wrong," I heard Brock say to Misty and the man.

"Ash, tell us what's wrong," I heard Misty say to me.

"I've lost my feelings." I was calm when I said that but my voice was still in a deep tone. I heard Misty back away suddenly. Then, a yellow blur appeared at my feet. It was Pikachu. I wasn't surprised. Yet do I remember how being surprised feels. "Pika Pika?" Pikachu asked.

"I'm fine," I heard myself reply.

"No you're not," the man concluded. "You must have hit your head and forgot your emotions!!!" He sounded really loud when he said this. I didn't really care. I just sat there.

"Oh, man, I think we're in trouble!" Brock yelled.

"Trouble?" a female voice said. I knew who it was. Jessie's. "Prepare for trouble..."

"And you can make that double..."

"To protect the world from devistation..."

"To unite all peoples within our nation..."

"To announce the evils of truth and love..."

"To extend our reach to the starts above..."

I was getting bored. Then a thought came to me. Bored isn't an emotion. Fear and annoyance is. However, I don't recall how any of these feelings feel like. "Pikachu, thunderbolt," I said pointing a Team Rocket who appeared outside the window. I was calm when I said this.

"Something's wrong with that kid," James said.

"Yeah, he's like... possessed," Jessie added. But before she can continue, Pikachu had shocked them. Misty, Brock, and the man were ducking before they feared the electricity. I sat there calmly watching them without thought. Pikachu suddenly ran to me and started hugging my arm. I didn't move. Something wet felt on my arm. It was Pikachu's tears. It was crying. Pikachu was crying. Suddenly, a loud crash was heard. Team Rocket dropped to the ground all burnt out.

"I miss the old Ash," Misty said also crying. Brock patted her on the back. She looked... what's that word again? ...sad. Once again, I have forgot how his feeling felt. I don't recall any of my feelings like I've said.

"C'mon, man. Return back to your normal self!" Brock demanded. I thought he was going to continue so I waited. No word came out of his mouth. "Ash! You're not what you use to be! Come on! Be happy!"

"Happy? What's happy?" I asked in the same deep voice.

"What!? You don't even remember what happiness is? Well... er... it's like..." Brock tried to break out the words. I knew he was trying to explain it to me. "I give up!" He yelled. "This is like explaining the colour red to a kid who's been blind his entire life!" He sounded like he was going to continue so I waited again. He turned to look at me. I calmly looked at him. His eyes seemed like they want me to say something even though he didn't open his eyes.

"You want me to say something, is that correct?" I asked in a serious voice. Brock walked past Misty who was trying to stop her tears. He stood next to my bed. "You have a serious problem!" he yelled in my face. My ears hurt but I just sat there. "I'm doing this as a friend..." I heard him say. He raised his fist and hit me in the face hard. It hurt. "Look!" Brock yelled to Misty and the man. "Look! He changed his mood!"

"Yeah, but pain isn't an emotion," the man replied. Brock slapped himself on the head. I just sat there watching him.

"Aren't you angry, Ash?" Brock yelled at me.

"What's angry?"

"Geez! You don't know what anger is too? You've got one heck of a problem!"

"Correct."

Brock raised an eyebrow. "Stop staying in that mood!" I heard him yell. The man behind him poked Brock. "I don't think yelling will help," the man said. Brock dropped his head. Misty stopped crying but Pikachu, who is on my arm, is crying. I then saw Brock whisper something into Misty's ear. Misty stopped crying and nodded to what Brock said. "Hey Ash!" Brock said. "You love Misty right?"

"Love? What does love feel like?"

"You don't know what love feels like? Well, I can explain this at least."

"Yeah, you're good at this," Misty commented. Brock acted offended.

"Continue..." I replied.

"Well, love is how you feel when you're attracted to a person of your opposite gender."

"Fine, I love Misty." My voice was dead serious again. I didn't feel any different. I don't think love is an emotion but I don't remember it. Misty's face was red for a reason I forgot.

"Okay, Ash. Watch this," Brock said as he signaled Misty to do something. Misty kissed Brock on the cheeks. "Aren't you jealous, Ash?" Brock asked.

"Jealous? How does this feeling feel?" My voice was deep again.

"Geez! Well, you kind of... well... envy a person for something they have which you don't."

"I'm jealous," I said in the same voice I was talking a couple of minutes ago. I didn't feel any different but I know jealousy is an emotion. Misty walked over to me and sat down right next to me. Pikachu, who was by my arm, let go and ran up Brock's shoulder. "Ash..." Misty said in a strange voice.

"Yes?" I replied.

"Do you... love me?" she said in a strange tone.

"Yes." My voice wasn't any different. Neither was how I felt. I just sat there staring at Misty. I like her. She is my friend and possibly girlfriend if she wants to be. She reached for my nape of my neck and pulled me towards her. I accept, and she brought her lips and landed on mine. She closed her eyes and seemed to enjoy it. I didn't understand why. Probably, I forgot why. My eyes were open the whole time. I looked at Brock who seemed to be shaking his head. I heard him say to Pikachu, "This isn't working." Misty let go and I noticed her face was red. I then saw that she moved her head past mine. She whispered in my ear, "I love you, Ash." I nodded. Then I felt something wet land on my shoulders.

She started crying again. Her hands left my nape and headed towards my back. She pulled and hugged me. "Why'd you have to leave me?" she whispered into my ear. I didn't respond. She hugged tighter. After I relaxed down, a warm feeling entered me. I didn't know what this feeling was. I decided to find out.

"What is this warm feeling appearing inside me?" I asked everybody in the room. I noticed Brock looked at Pikachu who was looking at me. I still felt warm after Misty let go. It didn't seem to be coming from her, but it seemed to be coming from me. I told the group this. Misty gave out another tear but smiling. "We've... we've got one of your emotions back..." I heard Misty softly say. "It's love," Brock added. I looked at them both and nodded. Misty then flung herself into my arms and hugged me again. "You really love me..." she whispered into my ear.

~~~

A week passed but I didn't recover any other emotions yet. So far, only the warm feeling which they called "love" occured every now and then when Misty gets near me or when I think of her. We were traveling on my "Pokemon journey." I didn't remember why I have once felt so excited about it. Suddenly, a phalanx of Jinxes appeared across the road. "I'll catch them," I said in a monotonous voice. I remembered a tradition where I pulled out my PokeDex. I did as I used to have done.

"Jinx, a human-like Pokemon. This Pokemon uses various ice attacks to severely damage opponents," the machine said.

I threw out a Pokeball containing Squirtle in it. "Squirtle!" the Squirtle yelled as it appeared. My reaction wasn't surprised. I wasn't one bit nervous or excitied like I've been explained how it felt. "Hydro Pump the area," I ordered. A large thrust of water burst out of the ground where the Phalanx of Jinxes were. The Jinxes instantly reacted with various ice attacks. Unfortunately for most of them, the water froze them up. The rest were weakened. I threw one Pokeball at the non-frozen Jinxes and captured it. Brock, Misty, and Pikachu were all clapping as the Pokeball returned to my hand. I suddenly felt like something wanted to make me dance. I asked my friends what this is. They slapped each other high fives. "It's the feeling of victory, Ash!" Brock yelled! I turned around and for nothing, I lifted my hand and made a fist. This is the feeling of victory? Then I noticed there are more Jinxes lying around. I offered the group a chance to catch them. Misty agreed and caught one but Brock choose not to. Suddenly, Squirtle started glowing with a white light. "Squirtle!" the Squirtle yelled. Brock and Misty yelled, "It's evolving!" I knew this. Why are they so "excited"? There appeared a Squirtle-like Pokemon with little winged ears and a long cloud-like tail. "Wartortle, I congratulate you," I said monotonously. I then took out my Pokebal and "returned" Wartortle. Wartortle seemed to be happy to have a powerful trainer. However, I can't exactly judge that.

~~~

I caught another Pokemon later that day, an Electabuzz. It was as simple as catching Jinx. The Pokeball disappeared in thin air and was transfered to Professor Oak. I then remembered about him. Then I also wanted to tell him to switch the Electabuzz with my Jinx. I walked up a pay phone with Misty and Brock behind me. Pikachu was on my head. They had no idea why I was calling but I know they will find out once I talk to Professor Oak.

"Hello?" It was the professor's voice.

"Hi, Professor. I'm Ash."

"Ash!? I heard what happened to you! Are you alright!?" He seemed really worried. Suddenly, I remembered what worry is.

"I'm fine." I said in my monotonous voice.

"That's great! I was worried and so was your mother."

"Tell her not to worry. I'm regaining my emotions back now."

"Really? Oh, why did you call?"

"I sent you an Electabuzz a while ago."

"Oh yeah! That thing was rare! How'd you get it so easily? Gary didn't even touch one!"

I was silent.

"Uh... what about the Electabuzz?"

"I wanted to switch it for my Jinx now."

"YOU GOT A JINX?"

"Correct."

"Those things are RARER than the Electabuzz! Gary saw one but he was later an ice cream cone." Misty and Brock were laughing behind me. I didn't understand why. "Okay, you can switch." The switching took place and I thanked the professor for helping me remember worry.

"No problem Ash! You're my best friend's son!" he said as he waved good-by. I waved good-by for respect and for tradition. Suddenly, a big Meowth like shadow appeared beneath me. I looked up and saw Team Rocket there in their Meowth balloon unsurprisingly. "You got a Jinx and an Electabuzz?" Meowth asked me. I nodded. "Well... er... hand 'em over!!"

I threw my Wartortle out. The Wartortle's Water Gun blasted through the balloon and they were "blasting off" again. Misty and Brock ran over to me. Pikachu was still on my head enjoying its ride. "Ash, you're much stronger as a trainer now!" Misty complimented. I suddenly felt a warm feeling but this time, it's not love. I can tell because this warmth is different. I asked the group what this feeling was. They replied it was "flatter." I suddenly remembered. A ring echoed in my head and I grabbed some of my hair. Pikachu jumped off. The ring was making me a wreck. My head hurts! I hurts bad! Then, I blacked out.

~~~

"Boy, are you okay?" a voice said to me. It was familiar. I thought and I remembered the emotions I've learned about. "Yes, I'm fine," I said in a serious voice.

"You're friends have told me about the past week. Are you okay? Do you still remember your emotions?" I recognized the voice. It was the voice of the man who I met last week in the hospital. I opened my eyes slowly. My head didn't hurt any more. "What happened?" the man asked.

"I had a ring in my head." Then I remembered how much it hurt. The man nodded and smiled. "At least you're okay now." I suddenly felt my my lips edge towards my cheeks. It felt... strange. The man looked at me surprisingly. "OH MY GOSH! HE SMILED!" he yelled. Brock and Misty ran in. Pikachu jumped onto Brock's back as he ran in. They saw me "smiling" at them. Suddenly, a ring appeared in my head again and I grasped on tight again. After the ring stopped after three seconds later, I was smiling at them again. "What's this feeling?" I asked them in a different tone. My voice sounded like it was in a higher pitch. "Why am I smiling?" I asked them in the same high pitch again.

"It's happiness, Ash!" Misty screamed in joy. She ran over and jumped into my arms. I felt my smile disappear and I felt a warm feeling again. It was love this time. When I felt love, love feels you need to be serious. "I'm glad you're happy!" Misty exclaimed as she kissed my in the lips over and over. "I notice," I said but sort of in a... low voice.

"Ash, this feeling you're having now is shyness!" Misty exclaimed. She grabbed and hugged me. I thought. Shyness? I remember this feeling. Shyness... I don't know why I felt this way. Then I thought about it. I felt shy when I'm overwhelmed with flatter. Misty flattered me when she kissed me.

"Ash, I'm happy you are getting back a lot of your emotions... at least the great ones," Misty said as she squeezed me as hard as she can. But just as she let go, the door opened and there appeared a familiar figure... Gary. He was leaning on one edge with his arms crossed. He gave his snobbish type of look. Just as he decided to start his subject, he lost his balance and fell over. The group started laughing and I did as well. I found out that laughter is caused by happiness. Happiness. The new feeling I've found just a moment ago. I seemed to have found myself but I seemed to have forgot myself as well. I want to know how my feelings originally felt. I also feel I'm missing a couple too.

"Ash," Gary said as he got up. "I heard you've got a Jinx and an Electabuzz." He walked over and pushed Brock and Pikachu out of the way. He looked like he wanted to push Misty away too but stopped. I answered him with a "yes." He took out of his Pokeballs and opened it. There appeared a Ditto. "I'll trade this Ditto for your Jinx or Electabuzz," he said.

"I disagree," I replied. However, my voice was in a higher pitch than two weeks ago. I feel like I'm smiling when I said that.

"Why!? Dittos can change into anything!!!" Gary said trying to keep his face straight.

"It's not permanent."

"Who cares?" Gary dropped to his knees. Suddenly, I felt a new emotion... greed. Greed was one of the emotions I almost forgot about. I stopped to think. I'm also missing a couple others as well. Jealousy. Envy. Pride. I knew I was missing a couple of these. I stopped thinking and saw Gary on his knees. I decided to test out my new emotion.

"Nah," I replied with a smirk.

"C'mon!!!"

"Why don't you have the skill to catch one yourself?"

"I dislike you!"

"I dislike YOU!"

"I'm outta here!" He stomped out after getting back his Ditto. I wasn't going to tell my friends about my new emotion. I felt I was kind of negative. Suddenly, I realized what I was thinking. I feared to tell them about my new emotion. Fear. I almost forgot about fear. Fear is an emotion. It is a very powerful emotion. I then realized I'm becoming whole again but I felt there are still things missing.

~~~

Three days later, I haven't retrieved my lost emotions. Those are the negative emotions. Even though not having them sounds like a great idea, I feel I need them to bring balance. Plus, the man at the hospital probably said that the ring in my head fifteen days ago probably had something to do with my memory of emotions returning. He was probably right. I've been having rings in my head these couple of days and recovered some of my emotions, but they didn't hurt as much as the one three days ago.

Misty, who was starting to stick around me more and even goes far enough to hold my hand while we walk, has became as good of a friend as Pikachu. She didn't argue with me much like we had before. I had a clear thought how it was before. I was angry before. Anger. Anger, a feeling I almost forgot, has reappeared these couple of days. Team Rocket has appeared again and again these couple of days. I've been annoyed at last and I've became angry at them. The more I felt angrier, the more I felt whole. However, there's still something missing. I've recovered love, hate, jealousy, fear, anger, happiness, greed, envy, pride, sadness, bravery, but I still feel like I'm missing something. I have a feeling it is NOT a feeling. I looked at Misty who was holding onto my hand. She was as happy as ever. Seeing her happy cheered me up and I decided not to think as much until I have time after enjoyment is over.

~~~

Later that day, we entered a new city, Namelacking. I never heard of such a name and neither has Misty, Brock, or Pikachu. We found a hotel and stayed there for a night. Like most typical hotels, these hotel rooms contained two large queen sized beds. Misty agreed to sleep with me for the night and we both promised Brock not to do anything at night. Later that night, I found Misty lying on my shoulder. She was all comfortable. I was too. I began to think with this comfort near me. I was a lot like Sabrina from Saffron City before she met Haunter. I decided not to think about that since it gave me a lot of bad memories. I looked at Misty. She was sound asleep. I thought how nice it would be to marry her one-day and start a family. I also wanted to become a great Pokemon Master. Suddenly, something struck me. I heard a ring in my head again. This time, it wasn't painful at all. It was loud but not painful. Then I found what was missing from me... determination. Determination wasn't an emotion but that was what left me "lifeless."

I then began to think. I never had this thought before. When I pledged I would become a Pokemon Master, I didn't have the heart when I pledged. I then began to think of that quote which stated, "Actions speak louder than words." It was true. I've lacked determination my entire journey. I'm not to lack it any more! I'm determined to BECOME the greatest Pokemon Master. I'm not just saying it. I'm going to become it. I've determined I'd get a better relationship with Misty was well. I looked down at her who was lying on my shoulder. I gave her a quick peck on the forehead. She crept closer. "Good night," I whispered. Pikachu, who was at my feet, climbed up to where Misty had her head on my shoulder. Pikachu gave me a wink. I knew what it meant now or should I say I remembered what it meant now.

I'm glad I had forgotten my emotions. I regained them and regained something new. I've regained the best thing I can use to defeat Gary. I'm not going to become lucky this time. I'm going to earn my name as a Pokemon Master. I'm also going to date Misty more. Just as I closed my eyes, I heard Misty say in her sleep, "I love you, Ash."

"I love you too, Misty," I replied. From that, I closed my eyes again and started sleeping. I know now I'll win the true meaning of life. I'll win the true feelings from Misty. I'll win. I'll win the hearts of people and young trainers. Most importantly, I'll win the heart of Misty although I think I already have.

The End